Llama Linda Ranch
Alpacas and Llamas
Linda Hayes   60 Meadow View Lane   Glenwood Springs, CO 81601    970.379.4576   hayestees@sopris.net

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The Rancher

By Linda Hayes

"Look at that would ya…their gonna sell a baby llama. Cute little bugger! Hey, Joe. You know anything about llamas? Wool and ears huh? Well, this one sure got lots of wool. Cute face too. Think I should buy him? Heck, I don’t know…Turn him out with the cows I guess. Be a conversation piece."

"Nobody’s biddin’ on him. Guess these cowboys don’t know nothin’. I heard tell, some guy in the western part of the state sold one for thousands. This may be my ship comin’ in Joe! Well what da ya know! Just $50.00 dollars. Hope he eats what the cows do cuz that’s what he’s getting’."

Step

"Hey Doc., when ya get done dehornin’ I wanna show ya what I got down at the sale. Yep! Heard tell they was real valuable when their ears curl in like that. Papers? No kiddin’? They register them? Well I didn’t get any papers and the guy who sold him just dropped him off and left. See him a little better now he’s standin’? No… you don’t mean it. I just figured they all had a hump in their back. Being related to a camel and all. Well sure, his legs turn out, but I got cows like that and they have babies every year so what’s it hurt? Heck no, I ain’t gonna geld him. I ain’t spendin’ no money on a danged cripple. I’ll just turn him out back and forget him and that $50.00. Blamed if I want to be reminded of how I got suckered!"

"Howdy Doc., sure has turned hot since you was here last. The llama? I reckon he’s layin’ out in the pasture. All he does is lay around any more. Since ya told me he was a crip, I just don’t pay him much mind. Fifty dollars and I spent it on a crip. Makes me sick! Who’s the kid in the truck Doc.? No kiddin’, I didn’t even know you had a boy. Why don’t ya bring him around more? Young lad like that ought to be out learnin’ to work with the animals instead of sittin’ around all day. Spina Bifada? Gee Doc., I’m real sorry to hear that. No wonder you don’t carry him on your rounds. Well look at that Doc… that boy of yours is goin’ over to see the llama. Hope he don’t get hurt. Fool animal gives me fits when I try to catch him. Gosh Doc., the kid don’t walk to good either does he? Must be real hard on you and the missus. What’s your boy sayin"? Sick? Well crap, Doc., how was I to know they get heat stress. Now don’t cry son, he’s just a llama and a cripple at that…Oh sorry…but kid, it’s different with animals. Gosh Doc., I didn’t mean to upset the boy. Can’t ya make him stop cryin’? What’s he doin’ now? Why he got that blame animal up and they’re headin’ toward the pond. Now don’t that beat all. Hey kid, get out of that water…might be snakes. Can your kid swim Doc.? Don’t want no drownin' here."

Rainbow at Ranch

Now Doc., I’m a cattle man and a busy one. I didn’t buy that creature to baby sit him. If he’s too woolly, he’ll just have to shed. I ain’t payin’ for no shearin’! And I ain’t sittin’ down with no llama and clippin’ his wool. What would people say? I’d be the laughin’ stock of the country. Now Boy! Quit yer cryin’! Do something Doc., It’s too darn hot for all this squallin’. Trade? Trade what? Deworm the cows for a sick llama? You must be outa your mind! Well sure I’ll do it. Do anything to stop that kids bawlin’ like that. Worst then a herd of orphaned heifers."

Howdy Doc., just stopped by to pick up some Utter Balm. Since it turned cold the cows have been chafin’ a bit. Who that ya got helpin’ with your chores? Well it sure is! That boy has blossomed since ya had him up at the ranch. Looks like he’s takin’ a shine to this here Vet. Clinic work.Llama Linda Walkin’ better too ain’t he? Say, that reminds me. What ever happened to that llama he was all hepped up about? No kiddin’? Four H, Huh? First place in Performance? I’ll bet they was somethin’ to see. Looks like you made a good trade after all. And like I always said Doc., that llama was a steal when I got him for fifty bucks!"

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